Building Confidence Is Uncomfortable At First. But It's Possible And Worth It

(Photo by Henry Altidor)

Confidence is a result of believing in yourself and your abilities. For many of us, building confidence is a slow process and it takes practice. 

You can start this process by giving yourself credit whenever you have made an effort. Be proud of yourself when you succeed. This can be for the smallest of achievements or for reaching huge goals. If it was hard for you and you did it anyway, then you deserve credit. Having a positive internal dialogue will help you build confidence even faster.

Using gratitude to change for the better

You don't have to hate your life to change it. There is value in being content and grateful for what you have, but what if you aren't where you want to be yet? 

Everyone lives a different life with their own challenges, specific needs, and stresses. Many of us still stand at the base of a mountain that we must climb. Taking that first step is hard, but before you know it you'll be at the top.

Get more comfortable with being uncomfortable

The truth of the matter is that changing your life even a little bit at a time will be uncomfortable. If you begin an exercise program having been inactive before, chances are that you will get tired and be sore tomorrow. It will hurt until you get acclimated to this new way of life.

If you are trying to broaden your social network then it will take many attempts. You will have some awkward conversations. You will feel like you cannot connect with people. Keep trying. The only real failure is when you stop making an effort. 

Confidence doesn't come overnight. But it starts with the realization that YOU are the one living this life. You are deserving of a better, more fulfilling life.

Setting realistic goals

If you want to change your situation, you will have to make some different decisions. This will take a lot of effort and strength. You might be a little low on those but that's okay, it will grow like a muscle over time.[134]

How you choose to set your goals is important. You want to make sure and set a goal that is clearly defined. 

• What exactly is it that you want to achieve? 

• How long do you think that you will need to meet that goal? 

• Is it a goal that is within reach? 

Setting unrealistic goals can cause you to push yourself too hard or to give up. Setting easy goals can make you lose interest in the pursuit.

Keep going

This will be a long journey. The trick is not to try and convince yourself that you enjoy doing the things that suck. Even though you know that it is what you need to to reach your goal, it can still suck while you are doing it. 

What you should pay attention to is the feeling of pride and self-worth that you get from completing that task. From overcoming it. That is where your victory is. And, you can feel it every time that you attempt a task that you don't want to do. 

You will learn to appreciate the charge. That boost that you get from overcoming something that you thought that you couldn't do. It's the best tool in your toolbox. You will realize that the limitations that you assumed you had, weren't real. That you are capable of more. Then you will have a feeling of freedom that you may not have felt in a long time.

When you start to conquer small problems you can work up to larger ones. Carrying with you the confidence that you have gained. It will snowball and soon enough, you will be a stronger, more confident person.

For more about self care, check out our blogs about how to take better care of yourself and making yourself a higher priority.